OPEN MIC NIGHT Tom Jensen
The economy is sh^% here…
And your bar needs a spark…
I’m known for drinking draino
And breaking newly-mended hearts
I got a book of poems…
It’s big, black and dark…
I would make a list of things I hate about myself
But I wouldn’t know where to start
I'm a gamble....I'm unstable....
But I'm funny…and my willy’s still able....
Hi, hello honey
I be quick like a bunny
Go ask Betty and Mabel...
Or Martha and her mommy
I laid all them like eggs...
Right on this here table!!!!!
The economy is s%#t here…
And this bar needs a spark…
I’m known for picking on patrons
Who dress to impress thinking that they’re smart
They get into to their precious Lexus…
But why show off such excess?
That’s why I had to laugh when
My dog went and pissed all over their car
I’m a gamble….I’m unstable…
but I’m funny…when I ramble…
I’m out of the cage now and I’m happy
But If I offend you please just slap me
You’d be neither the first person nor the last
To wanna slap me in the face or else kick my a$$
Because whether it’s my voice or that of my ventriloquist
I’ll make you red be it by anger, laughter or by syphilis