MY FAVORITE PICK-UP LINES:
Most people call me [insert your name - it would be cool if your name was Tom], but you can call me tomorrow.
If I had four quarters to give to the four most beautiful women in the world, I’d blink three times and give you the entire dollar.
So, you wanna go halfsies on a bastard child?
Do you have a mirror in your pocket? Because I can see myself in your pants!
Are you an interior decorator? 'Cause when you walked in suddenly the room became beautiful.
Do you know what would look good on you? Me.
If I created the alphabet I would have put U and I together.
Did it hurt? When you fell out of heaven…
I'm new in town. Could you give me directions to your apartment?
Excuse me, but does this smell like chloroform to you?
If I had a nickel every time I saw someone as beautiful as you, then I'd have…a nickel.
Your legs must be tired because you've been running through my dreams all night.
Bam Bam… I'm no Fred Flintstone, but I can make your bed rock.
Something is wrong with my cell phone...it’s just that your numbers not in it…
Hunny, there's only one thing I want to change about you and that's your last name.
See my friend over there? He wants to know if you think I'm cute.
Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?
You must know karate ‘cause your body's kickin’!
Is your last name Campbell? Cause you're mm…mm… good!
Sorry, but you owe me a drink…because when I first saw you, I dropped mine.
Your name must be Daisy, because I have an incredible urge to plant you right here.
Do you work at the post office or for UPS? Neither? ‘Cause I noticed you were checking out my package.
Excuse me beautiful, but can I get at least a fake phone number from you?
That shirt is very becoming on you, but if I was on you I'd be c*mming too!
Damn, if being sexy was a crime you'd be guilty as charged!
I may not be the best looking guy here, but I'm the only one talking to you.
The only thing your eyes haven't told me is your name.
I'd marry your cat just to get in the family.
You know girl, your eyes are the same color as my Porche.
If I told you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?
(checks tag on back of shirt) Just as I thought, made in Heaven!
You look just like my first wife but the funny thing is I’ve never been married.
Excuse me, do you have a band-aid? I just scraped my knee while falling for you.
You remind me of a parking ticket because you've got ‘fine’ written all over you.
I lost my virginity. Can I have yours?
Girl, are you a dumpster? ‘Cause I wanna put a baby inside of you.
My buddies bet me that I wouldn't be able to start a conversation with the most beautiful girl in the bar. Wanna buy some drinks with their money?
Are you gonna kiss me or do I have to lie to my diary?
You know you're in love when you can't fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams.
Was your dad a boxer? Cause you're a knockout!
Hey, don't frown. You never know who could be falling in love with your smile.
I'm not a photographer, but I can picture me and you together.
Did you sit in a pile of sugar? Cause you have a pretty sweet a$$.
Does your neck hurt? Because you've been looking right all day.
I'm not staring at your boobs. I'm looking into your heart.
You're the only girl I love now... but in ten years, I'll love another girl and she'll call you 'Mommy.'
Do you remember me? No? Oh that's right, we've only met in my dreams.
Your ass is so nice that it is a shame that you have to sit on it.
This isn't a beer belly, it's the fuel tank for a love machine.
What is a nice girl like you doing in a dirty mind like mine?
Will you help me find my lost puppy? I think he went into this cheap motel room across the street.
If you're feeling down, I can feel you up.
I'm no weather man, but you can expect more than a few inches tonight.
Hey, you wanna do a 68? You go down on me, and I'll owe you one.
You are so selfish! You're going to have that body for the rest of your life and I just want it for one night.
Baby, I'm like a firefighter, I find 'em hot and leave 'em wet!
Let’s just play house, you can be the door and I'll slam you all night long!
Do you know what winks and screws like a tiger? Wink. Wink.
Hey there, I just took some Cialis and I have 18 hours left.
I wanna put my thingy into your thingy.
Let's go to my place and do the things I'll tell everyone we did anyway.
You must be yogurt because I want to spoon you.
Can I buy you a soda? I would love to “Mount and Do” you.
My name's [insert your name here]. Just so you know what to scream.
Is it hot in here, or are your boobs just huge?
Nice socks. Can I try them on after we have sex?
The only reason I would kick you out of bed would be to $%&# you on the floor.
The word of the day is ‘legs.’ Let's go back to my place and spread the word.
Let's go back to my room and do some math: Add a bed, subtract our clothes, divide your legs, and multiply.
First, I'd like to kiss you passionately on the lips, then, I'll move up to your belly button.
What are you doing tonight? Besides me, of course…
Do you wanna come dance with the big bad wolf? [ No! ] It’s okay, the other two pigs said no, too!
You smell like trash… do you think I could take you out?
Let's have breakfast together tomorrow – should I call you or nudge you?
Here's $20.00 - drink until I am good looking and then come and talk to me.
If I had to choose between one night with you or winning the lottery then I would choose the lottery. But it would be reeeeeeally close.
Gee, you don’t sweat much for a fat chick.
You MUST have a nice personality.
I would say God bless you but it looks like he already did.
Excuse me, I am a little short on cash, would you mind if we shared a cab home
together?
Well, here I am. What are your other two wishes?
You’re like a dictionary, you add meaning to my life.
I’ll buy you dinner tonight if you promise to make me breakfast tomorrow morning.
I’m not drunk, I’m just intoxicated by you.
Let’s play carpenter. First we get hammered, then I'll nail you!
Excuse me, but are your parents retarded? Because you sure seem like one special girl.
I was going to tell you a joke that'll make your tits fall off. But it looks like somebody already did that.
Do you mind if I stare at you up close instead of from all the way across the room?
I was just curious? Are you as good as all the guys say you are?
I've just received government funding for a four-hour expedition to find your G-spot.
You know, you might be asked to leave soon. You're making all the other women here look really bad.
Excuse me, do you think you might possibly have a mutual friend who could introduce us.
Excuse me, I am about to go home to masturbate and needed a name to go with the face.
Were you just smiling at me from across the room, or did I just put my contact lenses in inside out again?
Sorry to bother you, but I had to find out what kind of woman would go out dressed like that.
A penny for your thoughts…or ten bucks if you flash me.
According to the second law of thermodynamics, you’re supposed to share your hotness with me.
They call me "The Fireman"....mainly because I turn the hoes on!
If your ass was a phone I’d hit the pound button all night long.
I may not have gotten your virginity, but can I at least have the box it came in?
I would call Heaven and tell them an angel was missing, but I'm kinda hoping you're a slut!
Mind if I hang out here until its safe back where I farted?
I just checked my schedule and I can have you pregnant by Christmas.
Hey baby, do I stand a chance with you or shall I just move on to your fat friend?
Is it just me or do most guys picture you naked?
Hey babe let’s play army, I’ll lay down and you can blow the hell out of me!
Do you want to be my insignificant other?