NUMBER ONE By Tom Jensen
We were never really sure
Just exactly what his name was
But we knew that he lived right next door
And he’d always try to scam us
But we both knew what to expect
From someone surviving off a government check
A lot of people say hey what the heck
I’m living in the projects
So be it Cal, Carl or Kyle
You still know all the right numbers to dial
And when we see you
You always come with more than just a smile
You may check his pockets
But you forgot about his socks
When he comes a’ knocking
Then the party really rocks
It’s like paying for a friend
Always asking for some money to lend
But I bet he rakes in more than us
For all the errands he’s been sent
A man with more stories that a preacher
Of life’s not fair he is the teacher
He costs about thirty-five cents on the dollar
But you don't get dirty, you just give him a hollar
But I am not trying
To paint his picture in blood
Because he’s ranked number one in the world
When it comes to getting bud