MY BIOGRAPHY by Tom Jensen
I was born in Massachusetts
In a town called Salem
While my mom was lying on the table
Busy screaming and wailing
The year was nineteen seventy eight
And compared to now it doesn’t seem real great
My life was too simple
All I’d do is eat, sleep and sh*t
Whenever hungry I’d just grab hold of a tit
Now I’m not saying I’d ever do that again
I’m a lot older now so it’s probably a sin
Besides, I don’t think that that would be fun
My mom’s a senior citizen and she weighs a ton
As I fast forward until puberty
You’re not missing much
Only beatings and bed-wettings
And fat jokes and such
I was a fat little bastard
Who couldn’t run down the street
Due to my own insecurity
I made fun of those I would meet
I was the toughest in my class
Because of the size of my ass
Don’t mess with me or I’ll sit on your head
If I hadn’t matured then I’d rather be dead
I used to play at recess, I’d sing and I’d dance
Praying for some girl to give me a chance
I waited and waited until days turned to years
“Maybe I’m supposed to be gay”
Became my biggest fears
I finally realized that I pretty much sucked
If I kept going on this way
Then my life would be fu$%ed
In my third year of high school I figured it out
Changing my life is what it was all about
I quit smoking butts
And trying to fit in with the “cool”
I had to get skinny so I ran track after school
I had to quit candy bars
So I could drop the pounds
Goodbye Snickers, M&M’s and Mounds
Even after all this still no date
Hmm…maybe it was my inside
That wasn’t so great
So I tried to find myself by helping others
And soon I realized we’re all sisters and brothers
As time went on I became who I am
Now life is sweet like strawberry jam
I wrote this poem so maybe you can see
It just takes a few changes to be happy like me