LIKE ROLLING A BONE by tom jensen & Robert Zimmerman
(Like a Rolling Stone by Bob Dylan spoof)
Once upon a time
you dressed so fine
You went down
to Fantasy Island
threw the bartenders
a dime in your prime,
didn't you?
People'd call, say,
"Beware doll,
too many My Ties
and you're bound to fall"
You thought they
were all kiddin' you
You used to
laugh about
Everybody that
was carried out
Now you don't
talk so loud
Now you don't
seem so proud
About having to be
feeling like
you’ll never heal.
How does it feel?
How does it feel?
To be without a home
Like a complete unknown
Like a rolling stone
You never got in
to the finest schools,
stuck with Salem State
all right, Miss Lonely
But you know you
only used to get
juiced in it
And nobody has
ever taught you how
to live on the street
And now you find
out you're gonna
have to get used to it
You said you'd never compromise
With the mystery tramp,
but now you realize
There not selling
you any scorpion bowls
or my ties as you stare
into the vacuum
of the bartenders eyes
And ask him
do you want to
make a deal?
How does
it feel?
How does
it feel?
To be on
your own
With no
direction home
Like a complete
Unknown
Like a rolling stone
You never turned around
to see the frowns
on the jugglers
and the clowns
When they all did tricks for you
You never understood
that it ain't no good
You shouldn't let
other people mix
your drinks for you
You used to drive
to Fantasy Island
in your dodge diplomat
Where the waiter
carried in his backpack
a Siamese cat
Ain't it hard
when you discover that
What you just
dipped in duck sauce
was your cat
Oh you know
that you should never
let your pet
become your meal
How does
meow meow taste?
A little bit
like veal?
Now you where
kitty went
When she left
and never
came home
Such tasty meat
can’t be beat
Finger licking good
right down
to the bone
Praying to porcelain
is your steeple along with
all the pretty people
We're driving
drinking, thinking that we’ve got it made
One point zero
blower or over
queens and kings
But you'd better
lift your diamond ring,
Better hide it
somewhere safe
You used to be
so amused
At the policeman in blue
and the language
that he used
Go to him now,
he calls you,
the breathalizer
you can still refuse
The cop said
if you aint
been drinking,
you got
nothing to lose
You're hammered by now,
you got no secrets to conceal
You got caught
behind the wheel
How does it feel?
Just when
you were
rolling up a bone
Now there’s
no chance
you’re going home
Tonight you’re not
sleeping alone
You got too
hammered and stoned