IN A JIFFY By Tom Jensen
She had a reputation for repetition
Yeah, lots of guys got what they were wishing
Easier than going fishing
Boy, you ain't kidding
Like one-string fiddling
Or perhaps burning kindling
When two hands start fondling
So quickly she's responding
There's a party in her pants
And I was that night's guest of honor
Though I didn't really want her
Even though she's hotter than fire
With her eyes filled with desire
I shoulda took my worm off the hook
And walked away from the water
Because lately I've been being haunted
By an unwanted and unfading memory
Two pictures taken for someone else
For some reason I ended up getting them
I got them all to myself
Yeah, those, and a thong are all that she left me
Well, that and a couple of songs
And now that she has gone
I guess I'm getting along
But it still feels a little wrong
That's she's on her way back to Taiwan
And now I'm back to hitting on my bong
For you see she left me in a jiffy
After giving me a stiffy
I ended up getting one last quicky
And then she was history
She said that she had to go
She had to go and unlock the mystery
I said if these walls could talk
Then we'd both be the talk of the century
She said if these walls could talk
Then we'd both be in the penitentiary
To which I replied that all depends
On who's sitting on the jury
She believed that we'd go free
If she could do to them
What she had done to me
Well I guess by now you see
Why she's able to be walking down the street
And why when it comes to me
They're bringing the heat
'Cause when she got down on her knees
I was still standing on my feet
Because you see...
She had a reputation for repetition
Yeah, lots of guys got what they were wishing
Easier than going fishing
Boy, you ain't kidding
Like one-string fiddling
Or perhaps burning kindling
When two hands start fondling
So quickly she's responding
There's a party in her pants
And I was that night's guest of honor
Though I didn't really want her
Even though she's hotter than fire
With her eyes filled with desire
I shoulda took my worm off the hook
And walked away from the water
If she ever had a kid
The whole block could be the father