HOT TODDY by Tom Jensen
Well sure…
Let this fact be said:
That I now dance
Just like a crack head…
Because once I was
Left for half dead…
Out in the middle
Of the ocean…
Is where I was gonna drown
Myself in alcoholic potion…
But I was so drunk
That I drank the lotion…
And soon liquor was
What covered my body…
As every one
Began acting naughty…
They drank it up
Like it was hot toddy…
Hey, I got my kicks
Just like karate…
There was a bunch of chicks…
I couldn’t get ‘em off me…
But when the seagulls came…
That’s when things got bloody!
Worse yet my pants were gone
Along with all of my money
You maybe laughing
But it surely wasn’t funny
It’s worse than being in Jelly Stone
Hands bound and covered in honey
Or even worse than being Italian
And owing your godfather money