HEAVENLY by Tom Jensen
I have an agenda
And a pamphlet of propaganda
To some it’s a real mind bender
Why I’d cure stupid before cancer
If you’ve ever watched Jerry Springer
Then you should have your answer
And no way Miley Cyrus should be a singer
But she can climb my pole and be a dancer
Put down those toxins that just keep making you ill
Pick up a hot stripper and her friend named Jill
Ask them what they’d do for a hand full of bills
If the answer is you then go and get your fill
With this advice in mind
Let us have ourselves a good ole’ time:
Well, the speakers are blaring
As weaker men are staring
While critiquers are comparing
And heat seekers keep staring
Since only sneakers I’m wearing
‘Cause streakers are daring
‘Course those silly tweekers aren’t caring
‘Bout what their fellow freakers be sharing…
So with no fears and no flaws
She bowed to their applause
Up on the pedestal
That’s where she was
Though she wasn’t there for her gold medal
She was there for her BUST!
With those 36C’s
Looking lovingly back at me
My eyes teared up a little
I felt my knees get weak
I was thinking to myself
There’s a motel right ‘cross the street
Hey babe, we could play KKK
We could let the room get dark
And go hiding beneath the sheets
I asked wouldn’t that be neat?
And when she said, “Sweet”
I just couldn’t wait
For our thighs to meet
And her legs to part
Like Moses in the Red Sea
This bitch was biblical
Crying out “Oh God”
While on top of me
“Ahhhhh” and then it died
She got off and then she got off of me
Never even knew her name
I think I’ll call her “Heavenly”