CANDY RAPPER SUPERSTAR By Tom Jensen
This jam…
Gonna spit it out of my mouth
as fast as I can
Like it’s a peanut Eminem
Or L.M.N.O.P
Hope you can understand
And comprehend clearly…
That I f%&k like a rabbit
Try to fly like a maggot
Can your ears hear
Them yelling:
“Watch your spelling and auto-correcting!”
Or next under sex they'll be questioning,
Over messaging and texting
Did or didn't I try a guy like a faggot…
I'll reply:
Hey, I see something shinny
So I go and grab it
‘Cause I just gotta have it
I know it’s a bad habbit
Since I look like I lie
Like a Persian rug,
Judas and a priest
All rolled into one
But at least…
Wait, freeze, go back…
Did that ‘but’ have
One or two t’s?
Oh boy!
Since my train of thought
Is filled with pot
If it didn’t have tracks
I’d get lost a lot
Then I’d have forgot
Where I parked…
Oh yeah, over there
In the parking lot
Here's where I get off
(haha)
Then I’d say:
“Hey, have a nice day.”
(and wave…that same fake smile on my face)
As I’d drive away
In a big, bright white car
With out-of-state plates
With black lights
that at night read:
“Candy Rapper Superstar”
(ha ha ha!)
John Lennon was right…
And right you are!
Deep down you knew it
Anyone can do it…
Be a candy rapper superstar