BET MY MOTHER by Tom Jensen
This rhyme…this time
Is unlike any other kind you’ll find
I bet my mother
And she bets her good right eye
She lost the other…
No, don’t ask how or why…
Yes, she knows I would not lie
But she’s not sure ‘bout this other guy
The one with the misplaced crocodile-like smile
Oh you say you missed him because he just stood idly by
Oh….don’t cha know…
Haven’t you been told
Not to trust the quiet ones
Whose closets are filled
With either skeletons
Or else lots of guns
I wrote your eulogy…
Got what I’ll read in my head
But the funny thing is…
The fact that you’re not dead
Was it wishful thinking?
Or just wisely planning ahead?
Is this admissible as evidence
Both what I wrote and what I’ve said?
So you wanna go to Hawaii? Yeah???
Pull a Jimmy Hoffa and disappear? No!!!
Don’t pack a bag, don’t say a word
Just board a plane and you’re outta here